Myomancy ADHD, Dyslexia and Autism

Women From Another Planet?: Our Lives in the Universe of Autism

Jean Kearns Miller

$9.86 via Amazon

People who have brought this book wrote:

Disclosure - I received my copy of this book as a gift from one of the contributors, who has been a personal friend of mine for years.
As a woman on the spectrum, I am used to our views being constantly ignored. The female experience of autism is qualitatively different from that of the male. If we don't talk, we are "shy". If we don't socialize with others, or need to watch what they are doing before we can attempt to join in, we're "not socially adept". If we don't join in the backstabbing and constant talk about makeup, sexuality, and clothing starting in junior high and high school, we're downright weird.

It is both easier and harder to be a woman autistic. People who think we are just shy frequently try to find ways to encourage us to "join in". And a lot of behavior that people find threatening from males on the spectrum, while not precisely acceptable in us, is less socially inappropriate. If one of us likes someone and doesn't know how to approach them, but constantly hangs around that person, someone might find a way to introduce us, if the person doesn't notice us by him or herself. In a male autistic, this same behavior could lead to stalking charges and restraining orders.

The fact that so many different women contributed to this book is a big factor in its success - at least one voice in there is likely to speak to someone.

And as for being self-diagnosed and "trivializing" autism... it is very hard to get diagnosed as an adult. Most of us, even those who have documentation of our severel language delay, are either "too successful" to be diagnosed (i.e., we have a relationship, employment, or advanced degrees and doctors dismiss our concerns about ourself), or are just diagnosed "Asperger's".

Personally, I spent much of my childhood echolalic and couldn't speak in sentences until I was almost 8. I still flap, rock, and enjoy watching spinning objects, and am extremely auditorily hyper-sensitive. I can still heard dog whistles. Bright colors disturb me, and I still can't drink out of cups that are colors other than clear, white, or blue without throwing up.
My childhood "diagnosis" was elective mutism (now called selective mutism) with autistic features, because I could read and answer yes/no or multiple choice questions. At the time, to be called autistic, you had to be mentally retarded. Learning disabilities (such as my inability to do even the simplest mathematical calculations) do not count. As an adult, I am labelled Asperger's, even though I STILL meet the DSM-IV-TR criteria for autism, since I have Semantic-Pragmatic Language Disorder, and the speech of people with Asperger's is supposed to be intact.

I work with children on the spectrum. I love most of them very much, and hope that they can become at least as high-functioning as I am. But I cannot understand their parents (other than a few who are actually on the spectrum or close to it [ADHD, etc]) to save my life. I have a very succesful history of being able to connect to autistic children, including ones who "don't like strangers" who were climbing all over me within moments of being introduced, and even occasional words or eye contact from children who otherwise live in their own worlds. People on the spectrum recognize each other, and these children seem to mostly realize that I am like them on some level. At least one of the other women whose writing can be found on this book shares this kind of relationship with these children, and works in the caring professions.

Open your mind, and at least read what some of us think. For people who are supposed incapable of thinking about ourselves or others, or of empathization, I find that most of us actually do better at these things than at least some neurotypicals (people who aren't on the spectrum).

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